Mouth to Mouth, Resuscitation
by inyoureyesifoundgrace
Summary: After Sebastian and Santana have sex after Smooth Criminal, she thinks that she's never going to see him again. She's wrong.
1. Almost

**A\N: I'm back. I needed to write more Sebtana, so... This is going to have circa 15-16 chapters, maybe less, maybe more. I'm going to update once a week.  
>DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee, and I don't own the lyrics to <em>One More Night (Your Ex-Lover Remains Dead) <em>by Stars.  
>Enjoy.<br>**

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><p><em>You'll never touch him again, so get what you can<br>__Leaving him empty, just because he's a man  
><em>_So good when it ends, they'll never be friends  
><em>_One more night, that's all they can spend in  
><em>Stars, One More Night (Your Ex-Lover Remains Dead)

She sees him checking her out and arching his eyebrows impressed, as if saying "She's hot".  
>It's not a problem for her, as long as he doesn't touch her. And besides, he's kinda hot, too.<br>But then they sing, and totally lose control.  
>He <em>does <em>touch her, and he's everything Brittany isn't: rough, violent, teasing, afire with need and want.  
>He rocks her world <em>(almost)<em>.  
>Almost, because he's a guy, and only girls can rock her world.<br>She tries to imagine Sebastian as a girl, and pushes the thought out of her head furiously.  
>Because if he <em>was <em>indeed a girl, they could have a relationship.  
>She's not going to see him again, anyway.<p>

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><p><strong>One thing I have to say, and that is, please review. <strong>


	2. Club

**A/N: Okay, so here's the second chapter. I'm almost sure that it's going to have 16 chapters. Hope you enjoy.  
>DISCLAIMER: Don't own.<strong>

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><p><em>Her eyes, they tell me what I need to know<br>__Your touch tells me where I need to go  
><em>_My lead will make you wanna get so close  
><em>_Well, I like to dance  
><em>_So if you do just get on the floor  
><em>_Forget the romance  
><em>Hot Chelle Rae, I Like to Dance

But she sees him again, a week after what happened. She's gone to that club because Brittany had to study with Artie.  
>She's wearing a skin tight dress that barely covers her toned thighs, and she's dancing. She hasn't had enough drinks to be drunk, but she's intoxicated by the feel of so much skin pressing against hers.<br>When he sees her grinding against other bodies, he feels need coursing through his veins.  
>After what happened at Dalton's, he longed for the softness of her curves and the sound of her moans.<br>So he makes his way towards her from behind, and puts his arms around her waist loosely. She turns to see who's touching her, and when she catches a glimpse of his face, she tries to free himself of his grip, but he tightens his arms against her and trails his nose down her neck, his fresh breath making her itching for more closure.  
>Then his lips are on her bare skin and she gasps, because the feeling is just what turns her on.<br>He inhales and he catches the scent that lingered on him after they had sex for the first time.  
>He bites down on her skin.<br>He takes her against a wall, and it's not rough and fast, it's languorous, and they both taste like smoke.  
>They're a bit tipsy, but they remember it clearly in the morning, the way their bodies rolled together and the slightest touch could set their skin on fire.<br>Santana promises to herself that it'll be the last time.  
>Sebastian promises himself that it's just the beginning.<p>

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><p><strong>Please, review. Thank you very much indeed. <strong>


	3. Apologies

**A\N: Here's the third chapter. Hope you like it. Please review! It's really important for me.  
>DISCLAIMER: Don't own.<strong>

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><p><em>So do I, so do I say sorry first?<br>__I'm flawed, I'm so imperfect  
><em>_But I ain't insecure  
><em>_Your jealous heart is poisoned,  
><em>_Tell me how I could trust you more?  
><em>Stephanie McIntosh, So Do I Say Sorry First?

She plans on never seeing him again.  
>But then he blackmails Rachel with Finn's photoshopped picture, Karofsky tries to kill himself, and it's all too much.<br>So she, Brittany, Kurt and Blaine go at the Lima Bean (because he lives there), and call him on his shit.  
>He does the perfect opposite of what they'd imagined. He says they're right and he apologizes.<br>While he does it, he looks at her, and she can see the innermost layer of him, the one which doesn't feel the constant need of harassing someone. The one which really _is_ sorry.  
>She's holding Brittany's hand, and that's the exact moment she realizes she's a cheat, because he's looking directly into her eyes, and he's telling the truth.<br>She's not. And it's the most revolting feeling she's ever had.  
>He asks her if they could talk privately, and she ask Brittany, Blaine and Kurt to leave. They don't even have the slightest suspect, and that makes her heart clench painfully.<br>He tells her about the one time he'd told Karofsky to go back in the closet, and there's an unbearable amount of shame in his eyes as he says it.  
>She takes his hand in hers, and he inhales sharply at her touch, and guides her to his SUV, in the parking.<br>After she finally comes down from her high, he tells her that he'll see her at Regionals.  
>She asks herself what would happen if Brittany found out about what's going on.<br>_It's all fun and games... Until it's not._

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><p><strong>Yeah, I quoted Sebastian in that last line... Again, please review. Thanks to who already did. You're awesome!<strong>_  
><em>


	4. Revenge

**A\N: Fourth chapter. It's late, I know. Sorry! Well, it's not like many of you were waiting for it anyway.  
>So.<br>DISCLAIMER: Don't own!  
>Please enjoy. And review.<strong>

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><p><em>On my waist, through my hair,<br>__Think about it when you touch me there,  
><em>_Close my eyes, here you are, all alone, dancing in the dark  
><em>_Tell me baby if it's wrong  
><em>_To let my hands do what they want  
><em>DEV, In the Dark

Regionals arrive, and New Directions perform first. She sees him cheer them on, and she gives her best.  
>When it's her turn to sing, she smirks at him maliciously.<br>New Directions win.  
>She doesn't have an idea of how much she'll regret that smirk later.<br>Afterwards, after she got out of her outfit, she remembers that she has to get a book from her locker.  
>On her way there, the door of a janitor's closet, and she's hauled inside it.<br>She's about to kick whoever got her there in the balls, because it's a male for sure, but before the door closes, she catches a glimpse of _his _blazer.  
>She moans, because she knows what's going to happen.<br>He presses her against a wall roughly, and slips a hand in her jeans, while he presses their mouths together hotly.  
>As his finger thrusts repeatedly inside of her, he sucks on spot on the side of her neck. She almost screams in the heat of the moment, because his mouth and his fingers are having an effect only he's able to have on her.<br>She knows that he's teasing her because New Directions won.  
>While she's driving home, she sees the purple hickey he's given her, and curses loudly, because it's a difficult spot to hide.<br>He's had his revenge.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? It'd be nice if you had any. And yeah, all the chapters are going to be this short, it's kind of a drabble series. Only, it has a chronological order. <strong>


	5. Addiction

**A\N: Okay, here goes the fifth chapter, hope y'all like it.  
>RIB, why you no showed Sebastian in Big Brother? Why you so cruel?<br>DISCLAIMER: Don't own.  
>Enjoy, and a lil' review would be much appreciated, thaaaaank you very much.<br>**

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><p><em>You're my addiction<br>__You built the walls of chaos in my soul  
><em>_So warm within you, without you I'm so cold  
><em>_But I can't even drink you off my mind  
><em>Pale Divine, Addiction

After Regionals, he doesn't see her for weeks.  
>The first week, he's not worried, just annoyed. Maybe she's got something important to do.<br>At the end of the second week, he's desperate.  
>She's become his favorite drug of choice, and he can't explain that to himself.<br>He's gay. He doesn't like, nor _do_, girls. He's been sure of that for so long, he can't even remember for how long... And now, out of the blue, a girl comes into his life and screws it up.  
>The fact is, he doesn't even love her. He respects her, for what it's worth, but he doesn't love her. He, on some levels, could understand loving a woman (not, of course, Santana Lopez... Maybe someone like Brittany Pierce).<br>But he's addicted to her.  
>During the weeks he doesn't see her, he feels horrible. He tries to screw (and be screwed by) some guys, but it just doesn't work. He feels like a flat tire.<br>Disgusted with himself, he even tries to have sex with a _girl_. After the first thrust, he feels horrible.  
>On one hand, he's sure he didn't become bi out of the blue, he's still gay.<br>On the other, he realizes it's just _her_.  
>And he doesn't even know if he's ever going to see her again.<p>

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><p><strong>Again, please review, it'd make my day. And I really need something to lighten me up, so...<br>Thanks to who already has reviewed, you guys are great.  
>Okey-Dokey: (SPOILER ALERT!) Possessive!Sebastian is going to feature in next chapter. Also, in next chapter there'll be a very kinky!Santana, so I think you'll enjoy it :D It's not really graphic, though, just enough to be rated M. <strong>


	6. Sin

**A\N: Here we go with the sixth chapter.  
>Okey-Dokey: The early update is for the long review, so enjoy :D I've already finished this story, but I'm not very sure about the final chapter... But otherwise, once I finished the story, it stays that way. The inspiration for my stories comes while I'm letting my mind run free. I might just be thinking about two characters (usually, two characters I ship), and then they start to talk in my head, or just to think or do something, and I let them run free until I realize that I could write something out of the whole thing... And then, I usually capture my thoughts and sensation and then plan the rest of the fic ahead.<br>And wow, you really deserve a prize for the best reviewer!  
>P.S: Why don't you get an account, talking would be easier :D<br>Still eleven chapters to go, which means that you'll be stuck with me until July, if everything goes as planned.  
>DISCLAIMER: Don't own.<br>Enjoy!**

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><p><em>But I haven't missed you yet<br>__Every roommate kept awake  
><em>_By every sigh and scream we make  
><em>_All the feelings that I get  
><em>Three Days Grace, (I Hate) Everything About You

Those three weeks without him have been boring.  
>But necessary.<br>Because when she got home after Regionals and after they had sex, she'd found Brittany there. She had a scarf on to hide her hickey, luckily, but the only thought of stuttering and making things up to _Brittany_...  
>Disgusting.<br>It was a punishment, for him and for herself.  
>She loves Brittany, but she doesn't want to give up on <em>him <em>just yet.  
>She's resisted through those three weeks just because she knew that they'd come to an end.<br>She doesn't want to think about what that means.  
>But when those three weeks are over, she creeps into his room at Dalton's while he's in the gym for his morning jog.<br>She's wearing the best lingerie she owns and she's stretched out on his bed when he comes back from the gym, still damp from the shower.  
>As he opens his door, he doesn't expect anything.<br>And then, he sees her, and for a moment time seems to be stretching out for both of them.  
>Then, he growls, deep and almost animal, and he crushes her under him, rips her lingerie and is inside her in no time.<br>They come together, but she's not done. She extends her arm under his bed and gets two things out: chocolate body paint, and manacles.  
>His pupils are almost as big as his irises, and the expression on his face is pure need.<br>This once he takes his sweet time, smirking when she begs for him to just fuck her, rendered helpless by the manacles, thrashing against his blanket. He swallows all of the chocolate he's spread on her body, and at every sweep of his tongue, she moans pitifully.  
>As he studies her, disheveled beneath him, he thinks that she's the most beautiful and sinful thing he's ever seen.<p>

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><p><strong><strong>Now, on a side note, would you kindly stop alerting\favorite-ing without reviewing? It's annoying. It means that you want to keep track of this story and keep reading it but that you won't bother praising it, and sincerely, that makes you lazy. I write this story for you, and in kind I request your thoughts. Now, that's not too much to ask, is it? And yeah, who already reviewed is amazing and wonderful.<strong>  
>I also hope you've bothered to read the lyrics at the beginning of every chapter, because they're kinda meaningful, you know. Kisses!<strong>


	7. Happiness

****A\N: Aw, sorry for the long wait (nine days, I know), but I bet that not many of you cared that much. Anyhow, this is an... Angsty chapter. Yup.  
>Enjoy.<br>DISCLAIMER: Don't own.****

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><p><em>Should've known better than to cheat a friend<br>__And waste this chance that I've been given  
><em>_And I'm never gonna dance again  
><em>_The way I danced with you  
><em>George Micheal, Careless Whisper

After she's been to his dorm and had the roughest (and kinkiest) sex of her life, she gets home and jumps on her bed, spent.  
>He's made her feel so good, she can't even begin to describe it. He got her <em>pleading <em>for it, for god's sake.  
>Santana Lopez never pleads for anything. She simply gets it.<br>There's a smile spread on her lips, and she tells herself it's not a good sign; he can make her smirk, grin, but not _smile_.  
>Because a smile means happiness. Not just satisfaction. Happiness.<br>And only Brittany's been able to make her feel happy.  
>Brittany.<br>Her blonde, beautiful, blue-eyed, innocent, sunny _girlfriend_.  
>She grips the pillow hard because while she knew she was a cheat, she never fully understood that she might lose <em>Brittany<em>.  
>And with Brittany, the Glee club, and Kurt, and Blaine, and Finn, and Quinn, and Sam, and Mercedes...<br>_No_.  
>Sebastian makes her feel like no one ever has before, but that isn't worth leaving your quasi-family.<br>Not even if it means never feeling that kind of pleasure again.  
>She sends him a text.<br>_Sry. Can't do this anymore. Can't lie to Brittany.  
><em>When he receives it, he throws his phone against the wall.  
>Drug addicts would do <em>anything <em>to find drugs.  
>But he's Sebastian Smythe, she's Santana Lopez, and he won't be the one to go begging at her door for more.<p>

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><p><strong>Okay, you dumb or what? I said don't freaking alert\favorite if you're not reviewing. I don't know how many alerts I got for this story, without reviews. It's annoying, okay? Do me a favor and stop.<br>To the reviewers: guys, you rock. You're so great, you shall have an earlier chapter next time :D**


	8. Distance

**A\N: I feel very bad for the things I said. I'm sorry, you guys, I just felt ignored and unappreciated... I just wanted to know that if I kept updating, someone would still give their thoughts about the story, but I was too harsh. My bad.  
>Too tired (): It makes perfect sense, and thank you for the review, it was soooo appreciated, really.<br>Okey-Dokey: Oh, man. Here we go, get ready for the rant. I really wish you had an account so we could talk. And no, you can have an account even if you don't write, totally. Thanks, you're my best reviewer yet. Like, ever, because your reviews are really detailed, and that's awesome. Kudos to you. As for the reviewing problems, I totally get the lack of time, but the shyness? C'mon, I'm not like that. I know of awe-shyness, and I'm not that kind of writer, really. I'm only 14! I still have to learn so many things about writing. So no need to bow or anything like that. A simple "good job" is more than enough. And uhm, okay, I'll stop frightening the readers with a less stable psyche. That makes me sound like the big bad guy, doesn't it? Sadly enough, I know about exams, I'll have them in a month... Gosh, I'm so scared I'll fail.  
>Over all, thank you for the most awesome reviews ever. You rock.<br>DISCLAIMER: Don't own.  
>Enjoy, this is for you readers out there. <strong>

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><p><em>I never felt<br>__The feeling that I'm feeling now that I don't hear your voice  
><em>_Or have your touch and kiss your lips 'cause I don't have a choice  
><em>_Oh, what I wouldn't give to have you lying by my side  
><em>Mariah Carey, We Belong Together

When the next day Santana goes to school, she feels like she's done the right thing and like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders.  
>She goes to Brittany and kisses her on the mouth, not caring about all the comments (<em>fuck them, she can do whatever she wants to<em>).  
>She forbids herself to think about him, or the things he's able to do to her. It isn't worth it.<br>But soon, too soon, she starts missing his touch, and she can't look at Brittany in the eyes, because her angel isn't able to give her any kind of pleasure.  
>She can still give her happiness, though.<br>Then, as times goes by, the days seem to become longer and longer, and she finds herself searching for things to look forward to.  
>She finds only a few.<br>At the end of the second week, she has bags under her eyes, she feels grey and empty, and when Brittany caresses her skin the only thing she's able to think about is _his _caresses.  
>She pretends she doesn't care.<br>The worst thing is that she's able to fool the world, but not herself.  
>At the beginning of the fourth week, she'd give anything to have him make her scream again.<p>

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><p><strong>So, I hope you liked this chapter. I'm going to answer each and every one of you who reviewed, just been kinda busy this week. Sorry that I didn't get back at you. I'll do that right now.<br>As you might've understood, reviews are appreciated... Okay, now I'm feeling like a b*tch. I guess that if you don't feel like it, you may pass. **


	9. Distance 2

**A\N: I'm back! Yay! Okay, kidding. Sorry if I haven't answered to your kind reviews, but as per usual, my week's been very busy. So, here's a new, shining update.  
>Enjoy. <strong>  
><strong>DISCLAIMER: Don't own.<br>**

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><p><em>Hey hey, few things that I wanna say,<br>__Still got my dignity  
><em>_No one'll love you like me  
><em>_And she's prettier than I'll ever be  
><em>_Got yourself a beauty queen, yeah  
><em>_But there's one thing I gotta say  
><em>_She can fuck you good, but I can fuck you better  
><em>Neon Hitch, Fuck U Betta

During the first week, he thinks, _screw her, I can do this_.  
>And he parties, fucks, drinks and loses his mind.<br>Then, when the second week arrives, he closes himself up in his room and destroys everything.  
>He <em>can't<em> do it.  
>But he's not going to beg her to have sex with him, hell no. And second, he loathes Kurt, so trying to break up him and Blaine was a pleasure. But he doesn't loathe Brittany, and he has no reason to hurt her.<br>But then, Brittany and Santana enter in the Lima Bean while he's there, and his first instinct is to go there and ask Santana what the hell does she think she's doing, because she knows perfectly well that he practically lives in the place, and she's practically flaunting in his face her happily-ever-after relationship.  
>Then he hears her saying I love you. And then they're kissing, and he wants to throw up everything he's eaten that morning.<br>He puts some money on his table and leaves in a hurry.  
>But he can't help himself and steals one last look at the happy couple.<br>They're still kissing, but Santana's eyes are open, and he thinks, _you can be as happy as you want with her, but she doesn't make you feel the things I did. She doesn't get to see you writhing and begging- and Santana, you can say whatever you want, because yes, she's pretty, and sweet, and innocent, but she'll never fuck you as good as me_.  
>It hurts though.<p>

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><p><strong>Kudos to who's reviewed,<strong> **you're amazing, and I'll answer to each one of you. Thanks for still reading this story!  
>Next chapter will be kind of... happier. <strong>


	10. Closeness

**A\N: Hello, hello! Here we are again. Early update because of the lovely katkaaaat, which has given me a much appreciated review. I hope you like this new chapter!  
>DISCLAIMER: Don't own (what a surprise!)<strong>

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><p><em>It's amazing what a boy can do<br>__I cannot stop myself  
><em>_Wish I didn't want you like I do  
><em>_Want you and no one else  
><em>Madonna, Amazing

She needs him, but she knows she'll probably never see him again.  
>Weeks have passed since she sent that text, and she's feeling horrible without him.<br>She's been avoiding Brittany for the past few days. She doesn't even know the precise reason, she just knows it feels wrong.  
>She's on her bed, looking at the ceiling. Her room is a mess, but she hasn't got the strength to care.<br>She didn't think that not fucking for four weeks could reduce her like that, much less not fucking with a guy.  
>Who's she kidding? He's not a guy. He's-<br>Someone knocks on the door. She gets up reluctantly, goes downstairs and opens the door. It's raining outside, and at first she isn't able to make out the face of her visitor.  
>But it's him. She gasps, and she feels like there's something in her throat, because she can't breathe anymore-<br>And he kisses her, hard and sharp and desperate, and her face is a bit wet and her mouth tastes salty, but she hasn't stepped out in the rain - but he can't bring himself to care, because they're still painfully distant, so he pushes her backwards, closes the door behind himself, and presses her against a wall, and she gasps again at the feeling. He's wet and he slides his cold hands under her shirt, and she moans and arches to touch as much as him as she can, because it's not a dream and he's making her feel so damn amazing, and the need to feel more of his skin touching hers is devouring her.  
>It's rough, and frantic, but it's not violent, and he's almost careful with her, and she's worried because that carefulness blurs the borderlines between-<br>And he's finally inside of her and she sighs of relief, because she's waited for this for too long, and he's there, _he's there_, and borderlines isn't what she cares about anymore- the only thing that matters is that he stays there, with her.  
>He moves inside of her and it's best thing both of them have felt in those weeks they've been apart.<br>When they come together, he dips his head in her shoulder, and murmurs a few words against her skin.  
><em>Don't ever disappear again.<br>_She knows she couldn't even if she wanted to; and she doesn't.

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><p><strong>Eight chapters to go - this is the longest fanfiction I've ever wrote, probably.<br>I hope you've enjoyed it to this point ;-) Review, please!**


	11. Blurred Lines

**A\N: OMG, soooo sorry I haven't updated yet! But I'm updating two chapters to make it up to you. Here we go;  
>DISCLAIMER: Don't own.<br>**

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><p><em>Now I'm losing my only friend<br>I don't know why, I had to try  
>Living my life on the other side<br>Now I'm so confused  
>I don't know what to do<br>She loves me, She loves me not  
>She loves me...<br>I started blurring the lines_

T.A.T.U, Loves Me Not

Afterwards, they move into her bedroom, and do it again, and again, and again, until she's sure she won't be able to walk the next day.  
>She lapses against him and they fall asleep together.<br>When she wakes up, she expects him to be gone.  
>But he isn't. She can feel the familiar, yet inexplicably foreign sensation of his skin against hers.<br>But the fact that he's there makes her feel warm, because so many boys have left her bed in the night, and made her feel like a piece of trash. And he didn't.  
>And that is kind of sweet, kind of nice, and it makes her think painfully of Brittany and blurred borderlines.<p>

The next day at school, she tells Brittany that she can't be with her anymore.  
>And she doesn't do it because she's suddenly in love with Sebastian or anything, but because things have changed, and while she loves Brittany a lot, she knows she doesn't deserve that angel anymore.<br>Brittany asks her if she's done something wrong, and Santana, almost crying, says that no, she hasn't, but they can't be together anymore, because she isn't worthy of Brittany, and that she deserves someone who sees faeries, unicorns and leprechauns too. _Or someone that loves you enough to be loyal to you, no matter what. _But Santana doesn't say it.  
>She also doesn't say that maybe someday they'll be together again, because Brittany, like every child, would erase that <em>maybe <em>and hear a promise.  
>Because for children it's yes or no, black or white- they don't understand that<em> maybe<em>, that unsureness, they don't experience that confusing shade of grey in which it's so easy to get lost in.  
>Santana wishes it'd be so easy for her, too.<p>

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><p><strong>I hope you liked this... Leave a review, pretty please!<br>BTW, I changed the song's lyrics a bit, not much, but it wouldn't have matched the chapter otherwise. **


	12. Confusion

**A\N: Here's twelfth chapter, delivered to you. Sorry again, and enjoy!  
>DISCLAIMER: Don't own, never did, never will (probably)!<br>**

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><p><em>I am not worried - I am not overly concerned<br>With the status of my emotions  
>"Oh", she says, "you're changing."<br>But we're always changing  
>It does not bother me to say this isn't love<br>Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love  
>And I guess I'm going to have to live that<br>But, I'm sure there's something in a shade of gray  
>Or something in between<br>_Counting Crows, Anna Begins

And soon, too soon, she gets lost in that confusing shade of grey.  
>She doesn't know where she stands with Sebastian; they're not friends, but they're not enemies anymore.<br>She doesn't know how she feels about him; she doesn't love him, but she doesn't hate him.  
>She doesn't know what they're doing; it's not just sex anymore, and it's not friends with benefits either.<br>And it scares her. She's in that undefinable shade of grey, and she doesn't know how to get out.  
>The worst thing is, she knows how she got in. She thought she'd be okay without him, but she wasn't. And their reunion wasn't harsh, or angry, or anything like that. It was needy and desperate, and now he just isn't her enemy.<br>Their sex is still amazing, though. But it's not violent anymore. It's more playful, and she likes it.  
>Now he doesn't get away as soon as they're done, partly because they meet mostly in their houses. He stays with her. Sometimes they fall asleep, sometimes they talk and sometimes they watch movies, and she's starting to get comfortable with him.<br>At that thought she tries to remind herself that she left Brittany _because _of him.  
>It doesn't work, because she knows it's a lie... And because it doesn't feel right.<br>She's more confused than ever.

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><p><strong>Pretty please, review! Even though I don't think I deserve it D:<strong>


	13. Denial

**A\N: Onto the 13th chapter... There's going to be a bit of angst in here, just sayin'. I really hope you like it, though ;D  
>DISCLAIMER: I don't own either Glee or "Growing On Me" By Darkness. Just pointing that out.<br>**

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><p><em>I wanna shake you off but you just won't go,<br>__And you're all over me but I don't want anyone to know  
><em>_That you're attached to me, that's how you've grown  
><em>_Won't you leave me, leave me alone  
><em>Darkness, Growing On Me

And then, when she thinks she's got a definition for their relationship (_friendship_), things start to happen.  
>She's tense around him, she gets tingles when they're almost, but not-quite touching, and her heart speeds up when someone knocks on the door, or when she gets a text.<br>At one point, she even shoves two fingers down her throat to prevent herself from having _butterflies_. He can't give her fucking _butterflies_.  
><em>Fuck<em>.  
>She feels pathetic, because she's still hung up about Brittany, which she's still best friends with, and yet... some part of her is still capable of- she doesn't even want to say it.<br>They may be, or may not be friends, she may or may not have forgiven him for the mess he's done, but that doesn't mean she's ready to have her heart pumping, her skin tingling and- and- _fucking butterflies!  
><em>"Are you in love with someone?" Brittany asks her one day, out of the blue. Summer's practically there, and for a moment Santana thinks she's misunderstood her friend. She slowly turns to the blonde cheerleader- and she's got this expecting look in her eyes.  
>"Um... No, why asking?"<br>"You _seem_ in love... I mean, you're whistling in the halls, you're not quarreling with Rachel, and you're not asking questions about Lord Tubbington's health anymore. I just assumed-"  
>"I'm not." Santana cuts her sharply, getting out of the dressing room.<br>Like hell she's falling in love with Sebastian Smythe.  
>She's <em>not<em>.

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><p><strong>Four chapters to go... To the (few) readers out there, I hope you've liked this fic up until now. I'm sorry I haven't replied to your reviews, I'll try to as soon as I'm less busy. Love y'all!<strong>


	14. Bravado

**A\N: For once, I'm updating on Sunday as I should. This is the thirteenth chapter-stating the obvious, I know, sorry. As usual, I hope you like it, and if you can drop a review, that'd be wonderful, really.  
><strong>**DISCLAIMER: Don't own! Wouldn't be here writing fics if I did, would I?**

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><p><em>I'm just a stranger, even to myself,<br>A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf,  
>Don't be a fool girl, tell him you love him,<br>Don't be a fool girl, you're not above him  
><em>Ingrid Michealson, Die Alone

She avoids him for a week, and she tells herself that it's because of having that fuckface around.  
>The worst part is that she tells him too.<br>He doesn't even answer her, because he's tired of her constant cowering. She breaks down, because she thinks he couldn't care less about her.  
>Her pride still prevents her from knocking on his door and tell him everything she's keeping inside, though.<br>It's not like she's keeping inside anything-  
>She screams and trashes her bedroom, because <em>god dammit, <em>she _is _keeping something inside.  
>And then she realizes that he's had the balls to come and knock on her door when she broke things up before-<br>And she gets down in a ball, and cries, hard.  
>He's fucking Sebastian Smythe, she's fucking Santana Lopez, they're both gay, she's left Brittany for him, and he hasn't been with anyone but her for months, now.<br>And she, _like a little girl_-  
>She strips of her pride, puts her bravado together, gets down two shots of tequila, and walks to his place.<br>Isn't it _in vino veritas _anyway?

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><p><strong>I don't know if I'll be able to update regularly in the next weeks, as I'm having exams and I'm a bit behind with studying. So please, don't be angry with me if I won't update regularly! Well, you haven't been in the past, so thanks. Love you!<strong>


	15. Reunion

**A\N: Jesus, sorry for the long wait! I was just really busy with my exams, but that went well, so now all's fine, and most importantly, I'm able to update. And here goes the 15th chapter! The 16th will come in a few minutes, just have a little patience and read this one in the mean time.  
><strong>

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><p><em>Hush, hush, the world is quiet<br>Hush, hush, we both can't fight it  
>It's us that made this mess<br>Why can't you understand?  
><em>Neon Trees, Animal

She knocks at his door, and for a moment she panics, and starts to get away, but then the door opens, and he stares at her with a look of surprise on his face.  
>"The hell are you doing here?" he salutes her.<br>"Can't you let me in?"  
>"I thought you were tired of having me around." He rebuffs at her, caustically.<br>"I wasn't, okay? I lied." She says, trying to keep her voice controlled, and failing miserably.  
>"So? What are you doing here, <em>connasse<em>?" He asks, and he arches her eyebrows.  
>"I don't speak French." She tells him, arching an eyebrow.<br>"I know that. I just called you whore, if you're so eager to know it."  
>"You... <em>Tu és una mierda, <em>Sebastian! You don't even know-"  
>"Now, no need to insult me. I mean, I <em>did <em>insult you-" he stops for a second, and then starts talking again "-just tell me what you're doing here, Santana." and there's an edge of tiredness in his voice, of weakness, and she can't stand it because it means that they're not on the playground, he's being serious, and so should she, and that scares her.  
>"I came here 'cause I'm in love with you, okay? You... <em>bastard, <em>I was happy before you came into my life! And now you ruined _everything! _I lost-" she'd intended to say _Brittany, _but she understands that she's simply _lost_. Tears come streaming down her face, and she wipes them away vehemently.  
>"<em>Hijo de puta<em>!" she hisses furiously, when she sees that he's simply staring at her. "I came here, told you that I'm in love with you, and you don't say _anything_? You- you cold-hearted, hideous, idiotic, worthless _piece of shit-_"  
>"The only one not realizing it was you, Santana. Didn't you think, even for a second, that I could love you? Did you really think of me as a cold-hearted bastard, incapable of any feeling?" He tells her calmly, but with a cool edge to his voice. "Did you really think that?"<br>When she stares at him mutely, he glares at her and starts to turn around.  
>But then she grips him by his arms and makes him turn around, and looks at him accusingly.<br>"You thought I came here to have a door shut in my face? That isn't happening, fuckface."  
>He smirks as she grabs him by the collar of his shirt and yanks him down at her level.<br>And then she kisses him, and he puts his arms around her and lifts her easily, wounding her legs around his waist, and kissing her back with everything he has.  
>They don't make love after that. Actually, it might be the angriest sex they've had since their first encounters, but they're both satiated and happy afterwards.<br>She's resting on his chest, and she thinks that borderlines fainted, barricades came tumbling down, and the truth lies harsh and naked in front of her.  
>And she's perfectly okay with it.<p>

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><p><strong>Please, review, it'd make my day! Thank you for reading, anyway. <strong>


	16. Cabin

**A\N: And here's the 16th chapter! Only two left, people... And then it'll be over. I truly hope you've enjoyed this, and jesus, I really need to reply to all of your reviews. Will do whenever I can. Enjoy!  
>DISCLAIMER: Don't own A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Not the characters, not the lyrics of the song. <strong>

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><p><em>Room burns, cherry-red<br>The jealous eyes, the rumours spread  
>You're safe in here<br>You whisper soft, "if they could see us now"  
><em>One Night Only, We Can't Stop Now

That weekend, they go to a cabin in Michigan that his family bought to spend the holidays.  
>It's in the middle of the woods, near a pond, and she loves the place.<br>Too bad that they're hardly able to leave the bed to eat. Once, they go swimming in the pond, but they don't keep their swimming suit on for long. Then they go take a shower. And the effect is just the same. They just can't keep their hands off of each other.  
>They try hard not to break into crazy, painfully wide smiles, and they never say <em>I love you<em>. They still call each other names, and they try not to be too pliant and soft between the sheets. They try not to steal furtive glances, or to casually brush hands.  
>They fail.<br>They may not be the normal couple of teenager in love, but they are teenagers and they are in love.  
>And there's little they can do to hide it.<br>While they're driving back, she tells him, "I left Brittany."  
>"Because of <em>us<em>?" He asks, hitting the breaks.  
>"Kind of, yeah."<br>At that point, he pulls over and sighs deeply.  
>"You're joking, right?"<br>"No, why would I be?"  
>He lifts her from her seat, puts her in his lap, and kisses her, still smiling. There's nothing rough about it. It's sweet, it's tender, and it's everything he wasn't when they first met.<br>She swings her arms behind his back and replies in kind.  
>When they pull back, she says "I still hate you."<br>"Of course you do."  
>But they're smiling dumbly, and they're happy that no one of their friends can see them like that, because they're quite the show.<p>

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><p><strong>Now you know what you need to do... Seriously though, I'd love to hear your opinions on this!<strong>


	17. Closure

**\N: Hey! Here we are again! Sorry for the long wait, I was at my aunt's house and I didn't have wi-fi. Sorry about that. So... one final chapter before the epilogue! Woah... What a long journey this has been. Thanks so much for sticking with me through it. So. Enjoy this 17th chapter, and I'll update the epilogue on Sunday. Thanks to everyone, really!  
>DISCLAIMER: Don't own nothing AT ALL here. <strong>

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><p><em>Closing time<br>__Time for you to go out, go out into the world  
><em>_Closing time  
><em>_Turn the lights up over every boy and every girl  
><em>_Closing time  
><em>_Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end  
><em>Semisonic, Closing Time

After a while, Santana tells Brittany. And of course, the pretty blonde asks, "But weren't you Lebanese? I didn't think you were Bi-curious."  
>"I'm not, Boo," Santana tells her patiently, "It's just him."<br>"Didn't you always say that he was an asshole?"  
>"Yeah, and I always will... But I, uhm, you know..."<br>"You love him."  
>Santana nods.<br>"That's wonderful, San! Why don't we invite the Warblers to sing something? You know, as... closure."  
>Closure. Santana's heart clenches at those words. She's going to leave McKinley High, and with that, their Glee club.<br>"Yeah... Fine. I'll tell him." She murmurs, uncertainly. Mostly, because she doesn't want to think about closure _yet_. She knows she'll have to sooner or later, though, so that night she asks him. And he says yes.  
>And on a warm summer evening, they all get together, New Directions and Warblers, and they sing <em>Tonight, tonight<em> by Hot Chelle Rae, _Young Foreve_r By Jay-Z feat. Mr. Hudson,_ Don't Stop Me Now_ by Queen, and finally, as closure, _Time Of Your Life_ by Green Day.  
>At the end, the Warblers leave, and everyone in New Directions cries, someone silently, someone loudly, and someone heart-wrenchingly. It's the end of something and the beginning of something else and like every other time, it's painful and thrilling at the same time.<br>And like every other time, it's so hard to let go.

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><p><strong>So yeah - got a bit emotional with this one, couldn't really help myself. Hope you've enjoyed it anyway, and as always don't forget to drop a review, just to let me know what you though about it - or even PM me, I just want to hear your opinion, okay? Thanks!<strong>


	18. Epilogue

**A\N: And here we are with the epilogue... Hope you like it as such. A bit cheesy, I'll have to warn you.  
>DISCLAIMER: Don't own, never did, more than probably never will.<strong>

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><p><em>It's really grand when you stand in hand with your lover<br>__And thrill to the wonders of the night  
><em>_And days, too, will amaze you and soon you'll discover  
><em>_Your dreams run to dreams in continuos flight  
><em>_Love is ecstasy, it's divine to be enchanted  
><em>_When your dreams are slanted through a lover's eyes  
><em>Platters, Enchanted

After closure, Santana needs to celebrate her new beginning in grand style, or so Sebastian says.  
>He brings her to Paris.<br>And on the first days he shows her things everyone can see: the Sacre Coeur, the Cathedral of Notre Dame, the Pantheon, Les Champs Elysées, the Louvre, the Sainte Chapelle, Versailles, the Musée d'Orsay, l'Arc de Triomphe, the Tuileries Gardens.  
>But then, he takes her deeper in the city, to forgotten métro stations, mysterious paths in the Bois du Boulogne, abandoned theaters, underground dance-clubs, cozy hide-outs alongside the Seine and hidden shortcuts in Montparnasse and Montmatre, to places only a true <em>Parisien <em>knows.  
>He spins her in his secret world of city lights, street music, art and magic, and she's enchanted with it.<br>So enchanted that he doesn't even question him when they're back home and they haven't been on the Eiffel Tower.

Two years later, on a break from college, they go back to Paris, and they re-visit all their favorite places.  
>On the last day, he brings her to the Eiffel Tower.<br>And when they're finally on the last level, where it feels like you're on top of the world, he sinks down on one knee, and in front of everyone, asks her if she wants to marry him.  
>And she says yes.<p>

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><p><strong>So this is the end. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, favorite and\or alerted... To everyone who's read this fic, really. I hope you've appreciated my work. Now I just really wanna know what you think of it... Leave a review, or drop a PM, I just want your opinion. Thanks. <strong>


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